Years ago a friend gave me a blue, shrill, military whistle and asked me to carry it. I was an avid runner and liked running the trails in the National Park near my house. I usually ran by myself and he was concerned about my safety. A whistle isn’t a weapon. It wouldn’t make me safe. It would, however, signal S.O.S to others in hearing distance. It would bring help. I carried it for a while and it eventually found its way to the keychain with keys for my car, house, office, and the like.
Fast Forward …
A couple of weeks ago my neighborhood made national news. We had a 300 lb. black bear wandering around the grocery store parking lot I frequent and the neighborhood I live in. Mind you, we are a suburban neighborhood outside Atlanta. Black bears are not frequent visitors. The park rangers said that black bears have been sighted in the National Park that borders my backyard. What??? I am an avid hiker and have been for years. It is my safe place of awe and peace. Now what? Time to put that whistle back on my pack.
Ever been in a place where your safe normal was turned upside down by forces outside your control? We can all say that to some degree COVID-19 has been that place for us. We probably have other examples we could add to the list. So, when and how do we signal S.O.S and ask for help? How do we put aside the potential embarrassment, maybe even shame of being imperfect and overwhelmed, and blow the whistle?
You may not be there yet. You may have positive energy reserves, discipline, and calm to naturally continue moving forward. That said, many people are questioning their reserves.
For some parents, it looks like gearing up for a back to school time that resembles homeschooling at the dining room table, again. It looks like cycles of less and more isolation from family and friends. It looks like controversy and inconsistency over masks or no masks. For adoptive and foster parents it heightens the pressure already felt by many adopted and fostered kids.
For some adopted or fostered kids, this time looks like worry over the safety of their biological family members, even if they have not met them. Worry over the safety of their adoptive family members. What if something happens? Will they be alone again? The pressure felt from the relationships stretched in their home. Most adoptive kids have a 6th sense to read and detect the feelings and emotions of people around them. They may be on hyperdrive about now. They feel uncertain, insecure.
So, what does ‘blowing the whistle’ look like?
Acknowledging for yourself how you feel, without judgment or fear. Temporary stress is human and not an indicator that you are incapable or a failure. Those feelings or messages are not speaking the truth about you.
If your faith includes God or the Divine Creator, ask for peace and discernment. You will receive it.
See those in your circle whom you count on and who count on you. See each one. You have a team and a community along with responsibility.
Take the risk to say how you feel. “I am feeling stressed or worried or tired or overwhelmed right now. I know this is temporary but right now it is a lot. How about you?” and then listen. Doesn’t matter if you are an adoptee talking to your parent, a parent talking to your kid, or you talking with others who matter in your life. Start by saying how you feel rather than asking about them. Your vulnerability gives permission for them to speak their truth too.
Out of truth can come mutual support, comfort, encouragement, maybe even discussion about how to adjust and move forward. Blowing the whistle is not a one-time thing. It is a safe strategy that gets easier and better as you have the courage to do it.
If you would like a whistle or help deciding when and how to blow it, contact me. I hold a couple spaces open each week for no cost conversations. I would be happy to give one to you. Click the button below or message me directly.
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