What if it were possible to feel safe, really safe, in all aspects and in all relationships that matter in life? What if …
Everyone wants to feel safe, loved, valued, and accepted. Doesn't matter your age, socioeconomic status, career choice, or family situation. We all thrive from this place. The more I talk with adoptees and adoptive families the more I recognize the need for intentional awareness to ensure safety in its full spectrum. It all starts with safety.
There are a group of us, myself included, who sigh deeply with gratitude for the impact of full spectrum safety; glad to feel safe now in most aspects of life and with the people who matter most. It wasn’t always that way. Regardless of our individual situations. The journey to this place holds similar pivotal growth points.
Safety starts with knowing who you are, how you were created to be and standing in the certainty that you, and your way of being, are not accidental. You are supposed to be here, in this time, contributing to your world. DNA aside, how you are uniquely wired to live and respond in the world matter. You feel tethered and safe in yourself. Safety starts with this sense of who you are.
Safety and the confidence to seek it are emboldened by knowing and accepting the beauty of your own story. Circumstances aren’t always perfect or pretty but the story of your life is; you are here and seeking more. Your story is amazing. A reality check and thoughtful unpacking will let you own it with gratitude. Increased strength and safety follow.
Safety moves toward immediate action when you realize the need to set boundaries for how you act and how you let others treat you. You are setting the ground rules. As a kid, your parents and others set boundaries for safety and how you engage with them. These were foundational. As you get older, boundaries for how friends and family treat you and engage with you are yours to set. You begin to accept the responsibility and consequences for the kinds of boundaries you set or don’t set in your life. You learn. As adults you learn that you can’t control other adults. You can’t set their boundaries for them. You can set boundaries for yourself, how you let others treat you. Rather than telling someone that they can’t treat you a certain way, you can tell them that you won’t let them treat you a certain way. You remain in control of your boundaries and responses. Boundaries communicated and kept secure safety.
Safety is proven in knowing where to trust and where to risk. Trust in others happens as others prove their trustworthiness. Even for those who start out with some trust, it is proven or shaken by the other person. Trust and experience have a strong bond. The desire for proven trust is especially true in foster and adoptive homes. There are high hopes from the very beginning. Truth is, there are also seeds of distrust planted too. With time and experience, we discern where risk is safe and that, proven well, builds bonds of trust. Trust turns to safety.
Our faith tradition or lack of one, fuels our personal journey through safety, love, value and acceptance. Your faith tradition may be different from mine. Most faith traditions have a path to the Creator, though he is referred to in different ways. My deep belief in God as creator and protector and in His son, Jesus, allows me and maybe you, to have confidence in the intentionality of our place on this earth, strength in our awesome story, assurance in the right to hold boundaries for ourselves and to trust that He will always help us discern risk and find safety. He has our back just as he wants us to do that for others. Now, that is safety beyond the bounds of time and place.
Curious about how you can multiply the full spectrum of safety in your life? Want to heighten the sense of emotional safety in your home? Curious about setting boundaries? Contact me through my website. I hold several slots for no cost conversations each week. I would be glad to hold one for you.